Grief is a tricky subject.

It is deeply personal and it is most often transformative. 
 

Grief is part of our human existence. We may experience a change of a home, a change of a friend base, or a job. We may also experience the death of someone. This someone may be close to us or may be someone that we do not know personally, but has had an effect on our lives. 
 

There is no right or wrong to grief. There is also a grand lack of understanding of grief. We are often told through society, well meaning friends and family, or even our spiritual institutions that there is no need to grieve. That we need to understand that everything has a purpose and a place and that the ones who have died have not really died, they have “gone to heaven” or have been “transcended” or that “you always have them with you.”

Grief is uncomfortable, not only for those who are actively experiencing grief, but for those who are around the people actively grieving. Since it is uncomfortable, we tend to shove it to one side; determined to only allow the love and light of human experience to shine through the experience. 
 

We are human. Our brains and our chemistry are wired to create a safe space for us to maneuver through life. When loss strikes the brain takes a while to adjust itself to not having the inputs that it once regularly had. If we have moved, then our brain is continually looking for familiar walls, and familiar streets and familiar faces. When someone dies, it does the same thing. It says: “Where is the familiarity? Where is my person? Where is the phone call I regularly receive? Where is the conversation? Where are the disagreements?” 
 

It takes a while for the brain to understand the new patterns of life for itself. In the middle we feel unsettled and adrift. We are confused, often feeling like we are in a fog, unable to think clearly, take care of ourselves or feel comfortable trying new things. 
 

Loss is change. It is a constant readjustment in our world, and so many of us don’t recognize or have the ability to find the support that is necessary for our healing. We live in a society that colors loss, death, and anxiety as something we need to get a grip on, and that is not always the case. Recognizing the meaning in our own lives, even within the loss and change, is a way to honor the life of a loved one no longer with us and ourselves in a change that takes us away from what we are accustomed to.
 

We grieve because we have loved. We have a connection to someone, something, or a way of life that is no longer possible. Grieving brings up unresolved trauma, pain, and anxiety. Grieving may also be a breath of fresh air and a release. Each person and every situation is different.
 

The links below are for more information. This is a link to my scheduling page to schedule an individual or private session. Private sessions honor your uniqueness, your situation, and your healing.